A family that is just surviving is being held together by a string. They can function day to day and even put on a happy face when they need to; however, they could fall apart at any given moment. A family that is thriving is doing everything they can to avoid being a broken family. They are continually changing their way of life to adjust to everyone in the family and to ensure comfort and stability.
To simply survive a family just needs a house to live in, food on the table, and bills maintained. This promotes personal survival but requires no need of communication or effort. I think for families to survive they need more than just their physical needs met. I think that family’s need love to survive. Without love a family will remain miserable and will never reach the level of thriving. I think they also need to spend quality time together (362). This could be different to each member of the family, which is fine, but they need to take turns with what quality time means to them. If quality time for my husband means going to the circus then the rest of us go to the circus, even if we do not want to. If quality time for my kids means that we go and watch their extra-curricular activities then we go and support them. Families also need to maintain boundaries to survive (362). If someone in the family needs space then we need to give it to them, at least for awhile. If other family members need a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen then someone needs to be there for that. When family members are pushed into a form of communication they are not ready for then they will not react well. The way to find out what is appropriate space is to use active listening (363). This will show the family member that you pay attention to them and listen to their needs.
For a family to go from surviving to thriving there needs to be a conscious effort. Family members need to always remain committed to each other as they view even the bad times as times of possible improvement (364).
This topic right now is incredibly hard for me as my own family has gone from surviving too destroyed. My husband moved out on Thanksgiving morning and I was forced to move out this week and sell our house. We were doing good and surviving but neither one of us were really communicating our personal needs until the moment was tense and we were there talking to each other in negative tones. We never took the effort to become a family that could thrive until it was too late and now we do not know how to get back there. I thought that the space I was giving my husband was beneficial but it turned out that he had relationships on the side because I gave him too much. My husband thought that he was helping me by going to work and providing the minimum of our bills to be paid but I needed more than that as my emotions have been all over the place throughout this pregnancy. I fear that our family will never even be able to go back to just surviving; however, that is partially because my standards have drastically risen. If we cannot thrive than I want to walk away now. Thriving is the only way to live and I will no longer compromise for anything less. I don’t know if it is possible for us to get there and that is devastating to me but for my children’s sake I have to stand strong to this and hope that one day we can be a thriving family that all lives together again.
Classmate Response:
The Fisher family I think has it right when they say that to thrive a family needs to have spiritual strength. I should have added this to my list but unfortunately in a secular class I do not always think of my priorities. I mentioned in my three ways for a family to survive that they need boundaries. The Fisher family expanded on this idea and said that there needs to be growth from obstacles. By giving the family boundaries and allowing them certain space and time they can grow from the obstacles life throws at them. The Green Family reminded me that there needs to be a balance of power within a family unit. This, again, goes along with my thoughts on boundaries; however, this is a crucial thought that needs to be mentioned. Depending on the situation my husband and I have power and we need to balance that. For example, my husband makes big family decisions for us and I make household decisions for us. Without this proper balance of power we step on each other’s toes and will cause the kids to get confused on who they should go to with a certain issue which could cause my husband and I to be put against each other. Proper boundaries seem to be the resonating theme though that allows a family to thrive.
To simply survive a family just needs a house to live in, food on the table, and bills maintained. This promotes personal survival but requires no need of communication or effort. I think for families to survive they need more than just their physical needs met. I think that family’s need love to survive. Without love a family will remain miserable and will never reach the level of thriving. I think they also need to spend quality time together (362). This could be different to each member of the family, which is fine, but they need to take turns with what quality time means to them. If quality time for my husband means going to the circus then the rest of us go to the circus, even if we do not want to. If quality time for my kids means that we go and watch their extra-curricular activities then we go and support them. Families also need to maintain boundaries to survive (362). If someone in the family needs space then we need to give it to them, at least for awhile. If other family members need a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen then someone needs to be there for that. When family members are pushed into a form of communication they are not ready for then they will not react well. The way to find out what is appropriate space is to use active listening (363). This will show the family member that you pay attention to them and listen to their needs.
For a family to go from surviving to thriving there needs to be a conscious effort. Family members need to always remain committed to each other as they view even the bad times as times of possible improvement (364).
This topic right now is incredibly hard for me as my own family has gone from surviving too destroyed. My husband moved out on Thanksgiving morning and I was forced to move out this week and sell our house. We were doing good and surviving but neither one of us were really communicating our personal needs until the moment was tense and we were there talking to each other in negative tones. We never took the effort to become a family that could thrive until it was too late and now we do not know how to get back there. I thought that the space I was giving my husband was beneficial but it turned out that he had relationships on the side because I gave him too much. My husband thought that he was helping me by going to work and providing the minimum of our bills to be paid but I needed more than that as my emotions have been all over the place throughout this pregnancy. I fear that our family will never even be able to go back to just surviving; however, that is partially because my standards have drastically risen. If we cannot thrive than I want to walk away now. Thriving is the only way to live and I will no longer compromise for anything less. I don’t know if it is possible for us to get there and that is devastating to me but for my children’s sake I have to stand strong to this and hope that one day we can be a thriving family that all lives together again.
Classmate Response:
The Fisher family I think has it right when they say that to thrive a family needs to have spiritual strength. I should have added this to my list but unfortunately in a secular class I do not always think of my priorities. I mentioned in my three ways for a family to survive that they need boundaries. The Fisher family expanded on this idea and said that there needs to be growth from obstacles. By giving the family boundaries and allowing them certain space and time they can grow from the obstacles life throws at them. The Green Family reminded me that there needs to be a balance of power within a family unit. This, again, goes along with my thoughts on boundaries; however, this is a crucial thought that needs to be mentioned. Depending on the situation my husband and I have power and we need to balance that. For example, my husband makes big family decisions for us and I make household decisions for us. Without this proper balance of power we step on each other’s toes and will cause the kids to get confused on who they should go to with a certain issue which could cause my husband and I to be put against each other. Proper boundaries seem to be the resonating theme though that allows a family to thrive.
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